becoming a self in history, becoming a self in my street
The journey I have been on to find my voice and my vocation has been long
and complex. At twenty-one, I studied graphic design in Stuttgart. There I met two people connected with
Waldorf Education. This form of teaching, inspired by Rudolf Steiner, interested me so deeply I changed my
course and entered the same course as my friend. I wanted to train as a craft teacher with the ideal that my
love of art and of working with children and adults could come together. I began by learning about
kindergarten teaching but my studies and my dream were interrupted by meeting my first husband and having
my first child, Eva-Maria.
Through my marriage I found myself in the role of a traditional farmer’s wife
where none of the things I had set out to do could be realized and I left my husband. I then completed the
teacher’s training as a craft teacher but once again I married and had a child. Having small children, and
prompted by my inner questions, I found my way to a church called The Christian Community. I also sent my
youngest daughter, Magdalena, to the Waldorf School in Heidelburg. Out of these connections I began to give
craft courses and eventually religious instruction in the school. My second husband couldn’t support my new
interests, and once again I found myself alone. I continued teaching. I knew deep inside that something
essential to my life and my innermost being needed to be pursued and developed. At this time I went on a trip
to Britain. Whilst we were there, Magdalena expressed a wish to come and live in England. I had begun a
part time course in contemporary movement while in Germany. I therefore tried to find a way to continue that
training in Britain and find a Waldorf school for my daughter. It was a huge leap into the unknown to take this
step but I found a place and people who helped me. Once there it became clear I needed to stop my training.
I began instead to live in a Camphill Community for people with special needs where I found fulfilling work.
Through this work, I began a process of letting go of my inhibitions and of learning to speak. Despite my love
of my work, my wish to be creative just never seemed to leave me. Because of this I have decided to leave
Camphill and finally to begin the work that I sensed so long ago when I was a young girl wanting to work
artistically with children and adults. It has taken me over thirty years to be ready, but now at last I will try and
create a space where, through artistic and craft activities, people can listen to their inner voice and find who
they are and what they want to do. Now I am finally going to live my life and my truth.